The Changing Face of Marriage

Faith is something that has always been a huge part of my life at home.  My parents are both very devoted to their faith, and they both work hard to make faith a priority in our lives.  I have gone to Catholic school for my entire life and I feel that it has really made a difference in my life.  The "domestic church" that is present in my life has helped me to realize what values are important to me and to think about how I want to spend the rest of my life.  In the future, I think that I will establish a "domestic church" in my home because of the positive impact that it has had on my life so far.  Faith is something that I could not live without and it has been what has gotten me through difficult times.  I want my own children to have a strong faith so that they too can have strong values and a relationship with God.  The study done about education and successful marriages makes sense.  The more educated people are, the less likely they are to have financial issues or difficulty finding a job, which can be detrimental to successful relationships.  I also feel that the more educated you are, the more you know yourself and what kind of person you are looking for in a relationship.  

Dating and Marriage

After reading the two articles about marriage, I feel that personally I want to marry someone who I share values with, but who also introduces me to new things and, as the NY Times article said, "makes life more interesting".  My values are extremely important to me, and I would definitely want to be with someone who completely respected them.  However, I think that in order for a marriage to last, both people need to be able to teach each other new things and help each other to grow as people.  This view combines modern society with Christian values.  I also agree with the US Conference of Catholic Bishops article which stated the communication, commitment, common values, and faith are essential for a successful marriage.  These are all so important to lasting relationships, and I feel that combined with the ideas from modern society will result in a happy, meaningful, long lasting relationship.

Dating: What's the Point?

Josh Harris criticizes dating because he feels that the temporary relationships people form are “practice for divorce”.  However, I don’t agree with this view.  The sole focus of dating should not be finding someone to marry.  I agree with Donna Freitas and Jason King’s claim that dating is about learning about yourself and how to form meaningful relationships.  I don’t think that anyone can be prepared for marriage if they don’t date beforehand.  Dating is about finding out what kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with and what qualities you admire or dislike in other people.  The point has also been made that dating “offers possibilities for personal transformation not found in other relationships” (119).  This means that seeing things from others’ perspectives can help people to grow and better themselves.  However, I do think that the “hook-up” culture prevalent in colleges today is not healthy.  Most of the time, “hook-ups” don’t lead to relationships, and are purely based on sex.  This culture does not prepare people to commit themselves to a relationship, and puts more emphasis on sex than on getting to know one another personally.           

Love Songs...

Many songs today have to do with love, relationships, dating, and the quest to find the “perfect” person.  If we listen closely, we can hear that these themes in the lyrics of many of our favorite songs.  I chose five songs that I feel concern several important aspects of love that apply to our everyday lives. 

The quest to find the perfect person is expressed in Michael Buble’s song “Haven’t Met You Yet”.  The lyrics below talk about the fact that we all might have to wait to find the right person, but that it is worth it to find someone who you can truly connect with.  The song goes on to talk about how there is someone out there for everyone and that if we are patient we will all find the perfect person to share our lives with.  I do think that there is someone out there for everyone and that everyone will meet the right person if it is meant to be.

 I might have to wait, I'll never give up

I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck

Wherever you are, whenever it's right

You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

 Another Michael Buble song “Everything” expresses how meaningful a relationship can be, and how important it is for two people in a relationship to stand by one another in both happy and difficult times.  I think that it is essential that two people trust each other and support each other completely in a successful relationship.  Two people should be as the lyrics below say, “everything” to each other.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, You make me sing

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

 Taylor Swift’s song “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” also talks about the importance of honesty in a relationship and understanding.  In order for a relationship to be successful, two people can’t keep secrets from one another and should be able to share everything. 

And I don’t try to hide my tears

The secrets, all my deepest fears

Though it all nobody gets me like you do

Of course, one of the most famous love songs of the last few decades, Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” talks about the power that love can have and the fact that in many relationships, love never ends.  In a successful relationship I think that commitment is another important quality of love.  This song expresses the power of commitment and how crucial it can be in a relationship.

And I will always love you.

I will always love you.

Finally, the Boys Like Girls song “Two is Better Than One” talks about how we should all be able to be ourselves in relationships and should be loved for who we are.  If we have to change ourselves or our values, the relationship will most likely not last.  The lyrics below illustrate the fact that we should always be comfortable in our own skin and be true to ourselves no matter what.

I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life and I thought

"Hey, you know, this could be something"

'Cause everything you do and words you say

You know that it all takes my breath away

The Media...

This ad is for Calvin Klein Jeans.  However, less than half of the ad actually features the jeans.  In my opinion, if the title of the ad was not "Calvin Klein Jeans", consumers would not automatically know what it was for.  I feel that this ad is inappropriate and the sexual messages that it sends are unnecessary.  The ad gives the impression that the jeans will make you more attractive which is why it was a successful ad.  However, there are other successful ways to advertise jeans that don't involve naked models.  Plenty of successful ads feature fully clothed models and do not send sexual messages.

This ad is for Pacsun clothing.  I feel that this ad is appropriate and does not send unnecessary sexual messages to consumers.  The teens in the ad are all having a great time without being overly sexual.  In contrast with the previous ad, none of the models in this ad are naked and it does not imply that Pacsun clothing will make you more sexually attractive.  Pacsun is a popular store which proves that ads do not have to be inappropriate in order to be successful.

Sources of My Identity

Twins…

Being a twin is an amazing experience, and has shaped who I am as a person.  Elizabeth has been there for me since day one and knows me better than anyone.  We are best friends, and she has helped me to learn things about myself that I never knew.  Whether I’m stressing about college or can’t decide what to wear, Elizabeth is always there with the perfect advice.  Even though we are twins, we have become very different people, and have different plans for the future.  Despite our different interests, we support each other in everything, and never compete or compare ourselves to each other.  Together, Elizabeth and I can get through anything, and I feel so lucky to have her as my sister and my best friend.  She has definitely affected the person I have become.

Cycling…

Cycling has shaped me as a person as well.  Not many teens are involved in cycling, which is one of the reasons why I love it so much.  I have been riding since I was five years old, and in addition to having a great time training, I get to spend time with my Dad.  We have ridden hundreds of miles together and it is has definitely made us closer.    My favorite part of cycling is participating in the annual National MS Society Bike Tours.  The rides are 185 miles long and raise money for MS research.  So far, I have finished five of these rides.  Cycling has taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to and that hard work truly pays off.

Service…

 

CSC has definitely influenced who I have become as a person.  The thing that has affected me the most has been volunteering at St. Francis Inn.  Going to the Inn is the highlight of my week, and I love all the people that I work with.  I have learned so much about the poverty and suffering that takes place in Kensington, and I am so glad that I found something that I can do to help.  The people at the Inn have dedicated their lives to helping other people, and I think that their commitment is inspiring.  I have learned to appreciate all that I have and see how blessed I am to have a loving and supportive family.  I learn new things at the Inn every week and will definitely miss it next year.